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The Ultimate Disaster

I should be well asleep now. Tomorrow marks the last day of my exam. Paper will begin at 9am.

I hardly had a wink the night before. I slept at 7am, and woke up at 10am. The amount of caffeine i consume is enough to poision me.

For the first time throughout my University days, i feel absolutely helpless about tomorrow's paper. The usual me will look forward to papers with confidence and hope. Not this time. No matter how hard i try, its of no use.

They say its in-born, perhaps they're right. I hate 3D. I have never been good at 3D, and will perhaps never be good at it. This whole paper tomorrow is about 3D conformation drawing. It has reached a point where its not about how hard you study.

Chair, twist boat, boat, ring flip. what the hell. Im losing faith in my organic chemistry.

This sums up the whole semester. Really one of the worst ever. Feels like shit. Morale is all time low. 2 Potential B- or C+ await me. For the first time, i will dread collecting results.

Haha, lets force a laugh

Alot of things to do. In need of rest. But rest is taking a rest from me now.

After a busy day, lights are off elsewhere as people doze off. Thats when you start taking out your book to study.

Not quite impressed by the loss of composure and the one man show.

Results, FYP, Friends, 2008

Another semester gone, another war over. Results was released yesterday. My grades turn out to be the same as last semester. Not too bad considering i was reading an unprecedented 6 modules, and 5 of them being CM modules. Nevertheless i wasnt overly excited. I had hoped for slightly better, but its not gonna make much difference - I cant go any higher, neither can i go any lower. Assuming no major disasters, i have virtually secured 2nd upper honors.

I like collecting results. I acknowledge I am not a top student, and will perhaps never be one. But i know when i collect my grades, it will be good enough to bring a smile and sense of pride to my parents and gf (hopefully soon to be wife). My parents havent got much joy from my younger brothers in terms of report books. Fortunately, all this years, i have never disappointed them. And my gf is ever so supportive of my academic pursuits. I'm glad i can make them happy and proud.

I will be starting my FYP in the coming semester. 2 more major exams and i will finally be able move on to masters. I will only take up 1 tuition assignment in the coming semester, i simply cannot afford the time. Life was tough managing studies and tuition at the same time. Sometimes people tell me I'd do even better if i had no tuition commitments. I dont deny that, but life is never that smooth.

At this point, I feel happy, but sad, both for different reasons.

Im excited and happy about the possibility of a very important event in my life..

Yet, Im upset about certain things. Im upset that both ck and til didnt get the kind of grades they deserve. I swear they worked really hard, I spent more time than anyone else studying with them. We all worked hard. As to why they didnt do well, i really have no answer. I can feel their disappointment and bitterness.

To make things worse, ck recently ended his relationship. I can tell he is hurt. Sometimes when i sit in the car with him, i do not know what to say to console him. We normally joke and talk lots of carp, but i know he is not in the mood. Silence fills the air. He is a nice man, who deserves more than what he is getting at present. Hopefully my presence will make him feel that someone is there for him. Time is a powerful tool. He will be back I'm sure, just give him some time.

YY and weiliang recently returned from their SEP. Life must have been difficult for YY after his mishap. Im glad he pulled through, and that we can reunite again. I miss the noise and crap generated from the 6 of us.

New year is coming up soon. Resolution? Although i may casually list a few, I presonally dont quite believe in making resolution at the start of the year. If one is keen to initiative some construcutive improvements to his life, it can be done any time of the year, even on 31st Dec. For most, new year resolution lasts for a month. Come 1st Jan 2009, they will be making the same resolution.

As a gym instructor told me, the gym will see the greatest attendance in Jan. To add on his statement - Come Feb, the gym population starts its seasonal migration to Bee Cheng hiang (Mei Zhen Xiang).

A Risk that didnt pay off

Yesterday i took a risk,
by playing risk at Til's hostel.

There were 5 of us, split into 2 teams. Elimination of any member from either team will mean defeat. Myself, Jeff and Kelvin were team mates. CK and Xiu yan were our enemies.

It was a close fight. Kelvin started war with CK and looked to be in good form early on, conquering most of his lands without breaking a sweat. I had secured South America early in the game. Jeff, as usual, was just about hanging on. Our strategy was simple - search and destroy CK..

Such simplicity proved to be the very reason for our downfall. We left Xiu yan all alone. Her army went from strength to strength as the other 4 of us were caught in a bloody warfare.

On her last turn, Xy exchanged risk card and gathered 19 soldiers! The next series of events was a pure massacre. While Jeff, Kelvin and I were praying for that miracle for Jeff to hang on, she was there, lauging loudly like a triumphant 21st century hitler, enjoying every moment of the demise of Jeff's troup. Eventually, the Jeff empire couldnt hang on.. We couldnt believe it, but we lost.

The rematch will be on hopefully soon. I sense revenge, and bloodshed.

A question

Today i asked my friends a simple question:

"Did u ever see me angry before?"

Toh shook his head and said "mei you"
From the moment i stepped into NUS, there isnt a single day without Toh beside me...

Since i offered my tissue to him on day 1 of JC, Til and I have been best buddies. We went to the same school, same army camp, and inevitable studied the same course in Uni... He said "no"

Usually im most poliet to anybody, even strangers.

I dont like to be angry. Its pointless. I dont like to quarrel, neither do i like to raise my voice. I dont like words of sarcasm. I dont like to exchange harsh words.

My tolerance is high, but high doesnt mean endless.

I dont like to quarrel.